today's gotta be the worst day of my life.. this is the 1st time i felt sad over my results, surprisingly. prelims so screwed up, life's so screwed up, everything's screwed up.. i wonder what there is for me to hold on to, cos everything is falling apart. l1r5 for prelims was actually better than my mid yr's, but still im feeling emo over this. im just damn fucking angry with myself for allowing that someone to surpass me. i hate this feeling of losing, for once in my life, i have this urge to study till my head drops. i just couldnt bear to lose to this kinda ****. theres only 1 choice, either to win, or to die.

the emotions in class today was overwhelming. the feeling just came unknowingly. and the next moment, my head just drop dead on the table. thoughts were complicated at that moment in time.. and for a second, theres this thought that the world had given up on me. and that ive make a mockery out of myself. prelims was the last chance for me to prove everyone wrong that i were stupid, but i just let it slip away from my hands... this was a great mistake on my part and it was really damn disappointing. i felt like a loser.

maybe im just thinking too much.. cos there are still words of concern flowing in. and this was a great wake up call, to wake me up from my 4yrs of deep slumber. im not sure if it is too late, but no matter what, im gonna try. it will be my motivation to push myself forward, and i will grab this once and last chance tight, things are just going to work out fine...

and im sorry to those i shouted at... and thanks for the concerns.

picture of the day:

stressed SK caught in the act





surpassing the darkness of solitude,
the truth in my heart.