maybe i shouldnt have visited her. it really pains my heart when i saw her in that state. she was so skinny that her face look almost like a skull and she was lying there, staring into space like she couldnt see all of us. and i was right infront of her, calling out so loud and she still couldnt hear me. there were so many tubes plugged into her all over her body, legs, arms, nose, everywhere. shes in so much torture that although she cannot move much, she kept on struggled to pluck out the tube frm her nose. so much so that that the nurse had to tie her hands to the sides of the bed. she couldnt talk at all, and becos she was senile, she couldnt rmb even her own sons and daughters. tears rolled down her cheeks as she lay there, helpless. what have she done that makes her deserve all these tortures? why? i would rather that she leave all of us peacefully, freed from all the pain and suffering.

i love u, ahma.